Dance deeper.

From left, Dru Bramlett, Anna Grundstrom, Danielle Romano, Tracee Kafer. So much amazing.

I keep coming back to these words, dance deeper. I taught a freedance workshop in June, and I was going to teach another in July but the time slot I could teach didn't work out for anyone, which was a real bummer - but anyway. Late in June, I was putting together the flier for July and trying to come up with a phrase that would really stand alone as the core of what I was trying to coax out of my students. Something that would emphasize the kind of dancer I was trying to help them become. And it sort of suddenly fell in my lap. Dance deeper.

Fast forward to a couple of days ago, when I was watching some of my students run their pieces for an upcoming competition, and giving them performance pointers. I realized that all my words of advice were about authenticity. "Feel that ball of energy! You are strong!" I was calling out over the music. "Believe it! Be the warrior! Let go like the pole is scalding hot!" It's about climbing into the skin of that character and mentally painting his or her environment around you. It's about dancing with more sincerity, reaching down and finding the reason for each gesture. Later that same day, I told another student that although her piece was technically strong, she should take time to find the story for every single movement. Figure out why that character would swirl her arm out to the audience at that point. What story does that gesture tell? What does that foot stomp mean? Is it there for a reason? Would that character reach out with sorrow, or with ferocity? 

My last post here was about the sexy side of pole - and I filmed a video for the Bringing Sexy Back movement, but I kind of hate it for this very reason. It's not authentic. I wasn't feeling sexy. I was tired, and sore, and thinking too much about whether I should put my hair flip before or after the pirouette, and whether the camera was focused in the right place. I didn't take my own advice, and so it feels contrived to me. And of course, that is my number one pet peeve with performers. Believe it. Take yourself seriously, and give yourself permission to settle into the skin of your character. I guess this is why being "sexy" is difficult for me, because that's a little too raw for a girl who was slut-shamed in adolescence. I instinctively pull back and feel like I should have some badass trick in between the hip rolls, so I can defend myself against the haters. So what if I spend most of the time writhing on the floor - did you see that deadlift? Screw you, I could kick yer ass! It's a defense mechanism. 

I suspect we're all afraid of that kind of authenticity, of being a clown, of being too vulnerable, of forgetting that power-pole choreography, of missing the cue in the music, of being not strong enough and not enough of a badass. But I think this is really the year for authenticity and storytelling. It's why Michelle Stanek took USPDF. It's why Danielle Romano came out of nowhere and won the Atlantic Pole Championships, and why the room was vibrating with insane electricity. Sure, she could have done wilder, more mind-blowing strength moves or been more flexible or made up some entirely new trick. But her commitment to authenticity onstage was what gave us chills. It's why Tracee Kafer makes heart go all kinds of fluttery with every performance. 

So even though that workshop didn't work out, I'm trying to remind myself every time I walk into the studio to Dance Deeper. Reach inside and find an emotion that you can grab onto, and make manifest. Believe it.