Audition stress

Stress twists my creative process. When I have too much to do I can't concentrate and I lose the ability to focus on my dance. With deadlines to meet, pole can feel like just more work, especially when I have to put together routines and end up practicing on my own, with no one to give me input or just make me laugh. My body hurts and I get lonely.
Today I told myself that I would carve out some time just for me, to buckle down and work through this routine. It's extra-stressful because it is a dual-role performance. In the morning I will be auditioning for a monthly pole showcase, hoping to join a well-known and prestigious cast. In the evening I will be performing with my students and fellow instructors for our Valentine's Day party.
This is my first audition and I'm a little freaked out. Normally, I use the first pass of a routine to put in all the moves I'm not super solid with yet - a result of my sweaty hands. I don't want to slip off the pole trying a precarious move at the end of a routine, so I put it in the beginning when I'm confident, still full of energy and hands prepared with Tite Grip, to minimize the danger. But I need this routine to be very dramatic at the beginning and tell the whole story right up front. I only have two minutes for the audition. Two minutes is almost nothing on spinning pole.
Hence my long, cold day at the studio alone. But I'm trying to stay inspired. I've been watching massive amounts of contemporary dance videos on youtube, looking for good lines, interesting ways to move onto and off the floor. I want to push myself a little bit with this performance, not with strength or fancy aerial tricks but with the dance itself.
I performed this routine before for a very small event. It was what I think of now as a rough sketch. It felt finished when I performed it, but now I don't feel that it is rich enough. Needs more drama, more character.
In the end, my lonely day at the studio was pretty productive. I pushed through a half hour of deep stretching. Never skip stretching. On the days I feel the least inspired, the most exhausted, I make my stretches deeper and longer. It works, at the end I'm loose and warm and feeling a bit better.
I pulled out my laptop and used Natasha Wang's awesome trick - Photobooth! It's nice to use my phone for the HD, but really, when I'm working through the awkwardness of a routine in the early stages, all I need is to film 10-second clips at a time to review and adjust the moves. Thank you, webcam and Photobooth for making that simple.
I tried all kinds of craziness today. For three hours I slipped and grunted, I used about half a bottle of Tite Grip, I'm brusied and battered but I have a routine fleshed out. So I will reward myself with the usual treat, ice cream. After an intense poling session I always finish with ice cream. I work hard, dammit. I deserve something delicious.